How many of us have heard that 50% or half or marriages end in divorce? How many times have we heard that? Personally I have heard it at least 10-20 times. Have you ever wondered where that statistic comes from? Brother Williams shared with us that research actually shows that 25% of marriages end in divorce...
Today in Family Relations we discussed some really interesting myths about the family.
Common myths:
-Opposites attract.
When it comes down to it. We are more successful with people with a similar backgrounds and values/goals. Of course we are each different, but usually opposites that are extreme which attract us at first, are the things we struggle with after marriage.
-Having children Increases Marital Satisfaction.
While having a child is incredibly fulfilling, it requires new energy and time. Having a child, for most means stretching the financial belt and can cause worry. The energy and time you were able to put on your relationship is now focused on your child instead of each other. Now, having a child is amazing, can and does increase happiness for a successful couple. But many couples who are struggling think that having a baby will solve their problems. This is the side of the myth.
-Happily Married People don't have conflict.
This one is pretty obvious right? This is why communication and problem solving come in handy. It is impossible to dodge or avoid conflict altogether. But those who can work through them together are happy:)
(This next myth is not from my family relations class, but I think it's a good one)
-A relationship is 50/50
One of my mission Dads always told me "This is the wrong way to think about it If each of you is only willing to give 50% what happens when one of you is struggling and can't make up your part? You have to each be willing to go 100% so that when one of you is struggling, the other one is there."
So what are your thoughts about these myths? Do you think they are true? False?
Amen, amen, and amen. I agree that each of these are a myth. Similar values and goals are essential to a happy marriage. There will always be differences between two people, even the best matched of couples. But if you feel the same about your strongest beliefs it adds so much depth to the relationship.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your post Krystina! I think the myths you discussed are valid thoughts people base their relationships off of. I particularly liked the last myth about the 50/50 rule. It reminds me of a talk that Brother Hafen gave called Covenant Marriage. He talks about the differences between a contract marriage and a covenant marriage. How can we give 100% when we don't feel like it? I have seen my own parents struggle with this. What could we say to them or others who are struggling to give their whole self to their marriage?
ReplyDeleteWow I feel bad that I am just seeing this.
DeleteI am no expert. But something that has helped me put more of myself into things is s saying that says "If you only work half of your hardest you only reach half of your potential." What could you say to others? Let me brainstorm here.
Man I just want to list a bunch of quotes that I love. "That which comes easily departs, that which comes of struggle remains."
I have come to the conclusion that happiness, marriage, and love is a choice. Yes you fall in love with someone, but you fall in love when it's easy, it's based off of feelings. When struggles, differences, or bumps arise, I believe you make a conscious decision each time to continue to love them. You can be struggling to understand them at moments, but you CHOOSE to love them, or not. So what do you want to choose. This is liberating because it is up to you, but it comes with responsibility because what you choose now will determine your future.
I hope that can be read in a positive light. It is just what comes to my mind. Hopefully it can be put into context. Every person and situation is different obviously.