Telephone

Have you ever played a game of telephone, where you whisper something down the line, and it comes out horribly wrong? Can you see why communication is important? Especially in relationships?

Have you ever heard a foreign language and felt so lost?

Communication is important to be truly understood.

I chose to become a missionary for my church. And when I received my calling, I was assigned to teach the Gospel to people in Swedish. Now I don't know if many of you know this, but in Sweden, they start to learn English at a very young age! about 3rd/4th grade. Needless to say most of the Swedes, spoke better English than I spoke Swedish, even by the end of my 18 months.
But alas, I was called to teach them in their own language so they could truly understand.

If you have learned a second language you know that you can begin to understand it very well, but still it might not ring as true as your native tongue.

One thing Brother Williams brought up this week that I really liked was, maybe we each have our own "love language". And no, not like the 5 Love Languages book. But Maybe we need to seek to understand what helps our spouses truly understand, even if it is different than what works best for us.

During communication their is a process everything we say goes through.

The original idea is said, encoded, delivered, received, and then must be decoded. During the delivery process certain types of media, such as tone, and body language can be misunderstood therefore being incorrectly decoded. Have you ever gotten a text that was horribly misunderstood? haha

The idea is to deliver things in their true meaning But this is difficult. here is something that could help you consider how to communicate better. I know it helped me.

Communicate not only in a way to be understood, but in a way that you cannot be misunderstood.

9-1-1!

When you think of Crisis what comes to mind?

This week we discussed how Crisis is not just a dangerous, threatening event. But crisis really is opportunities. Trials are not just something we must bear, but the are chances to learn.

Many of us have noticed that even if different people experience the same crisis, they come out on top differently. How is this? check out this equation.

         Actual Event
         Behavioral Responses
+       Cognitions (how you define the crisis)
total eXperience

According to this equation, the determining factors in how we come out of something are, how we react, and how we define a "problem". I believe that we do choose how our circumstances affect us. Simply put our attitudes can make a world of difference in the ride of life. Do you think it's poosible to look at "problems" as events or opportunities instead?

We often speak of "coping mechanisms". Brother Williams said something that changed my entire outlook on the theory of crisis.
Coping means: Minute changes in direction (made early on) so things fit better latter on.
The little things we do now really can change our future. The tinniest minute things can adjust our course.

As a pilot President Uchtedorf from The First Presidency of The Church knows that each degree matters when flying a plane to a specific destination. The slightest change in degree can alter your course immensely. He tell us that this also applies to life.:
"The difference between happiness and misery often comes to an error of only a few degrees."

Cool to think that we can prepare now to come out on top in the future!

Love

Love. A word that can mean many different things.

As I lived in Sweden for 18 months I realized each culture uses love differently. 

I found it hard to express the difference when I liked something and when I REALLY liked something. In American I was able to say "I liked that!" or "OMG I LOVE THAT!" 

Take Greek for instance. In the Greek language they have four different uses of the word love. 

Storge: Describes the love of that between a parent and child. 

Phillia: The love shared by friendship.

Eros: Love between a man and a woman. 

Agape: Acting on the well being of someone else. (Charity or pure love of Christ)

While discussing this in class our instructor asked us: "Which definition of love is THEE most important in marriage?"

As you might consider also, this is hard to answer! We decided you need all of them! It is a combination of all of these. Storge, being one they can rely and depend on to feel secure. Phillia, everyone hopes to marry their best friend. Eros, passion, excitement, all of those feelings they stir up in you. The butterflies, the physical and emotional attraction and nearness to them. Agape, putting them before yourself, in every aspect. 

The need for love is in all of us. It is literally in us. It is beautiful! I really do believe that all of these are included in true love. 

While preparing for marriage, be open with your partner about this. Communication REALLY is key. Have your parents told you that? What does good communication look like?

-Plan for future conflicts together. (readiness)

-Discuss agreements and disagreements. 

-Feel comfortable talking about everything! Nothing should be awkward when you have good communication. 

-Compromise is good, consensus is best. 

-Talk about your dreams and hopes and desires for the future. 

-Listen, and HEAR each other. Each party should be equal participates in both talking and listening.

Love is many things, it is true happiness, and it is not a race. Enjoy the ride!

A Recipe for Eternity

Have you ever said "That is SUCH a guy move!" or "It's a girl thing."

What makes us think or say that? Is it just how we are made?

Studies actually do show that we are biologically different. But these differences can be the ingredients to a successful relationship.

In my own relationships I have come to experience differences in males and females, as we all have. And I am thankful for them! When we embrace those differences, and use them to their potential, we can learn so much! Of course there are also difference between each individual, this is divine. Because of individual differences it is difficult, and sometimes stereotypical to pin point gender differences. But we are different. 

There is something beautiful about God's plan, and his intention of having men and women work together. From the foundation of the world he set the pattern of marriage between a man and woman. God is wisdom. Have you ever stopped to wonder at the wisdom behind gender differences? 

As I have studied Gender differences this week I have come to feel a sense of balance and amazement. Our gender differences truly bring us full circle. The lessons I have learned from both the strong men and strong women in my life, has given me a completeness I feel very strongly.

Here is a video simply with interesting biological facts. However I hope we can appreciate and contemplate some deeper meaning in gender differences. God created each of us. He created the different genders, and each individual. This was not an accident. 

Enjoy!

Gender Differences